Overcome 5 Lies about Admitting Mistakes
February 6, 2025 | By David M. Wagner
Ever heard someone say, “I messed up?”
No qualifiers. No excuses. No ducking responsibility.
What was it like, to be on the receiving side of that message?
Refreshing? A relief? Maybe even inspiring?
If you’re anything like me, though, your feelings may shift a bit when it comes to being the admitter of wrongs.
If you’re struggling to confront a mistake, you may be facing one of these self-protecting lies.
Lie #1: Mistake? What mistake?
Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem… Or they’ll correct themselves on their own!
Wait-and-see can be a viable strategy when things aren’t right. Denying they’re not working in the first place, however, is not.
Truth: Confronting mistakes (or potential mistakes) head-on is the only way to prevent things from getting worse and to recover as gracefully as possible.
Lie #2: Maybe no one will notice
Silence is essential for submarines to maintain stealth.
In Turn the Ship Around, David Marquet recounts how, rather than hunting down every source of noise, the leadership on one sub trained sailors to report any noise they generated.
Sailors started reporting noises that no one else heard. Everyone learned how to avoid mistakes that had never been noticed before.
The sub was quieter than ever.
Truth: Whether anyone notices or not, admit your mistakes so the whole team can learn to be better.
Lie #3: I can hide in the silver lining
There may be legitimate upsides to the choices you made.
Just consider whether emphasizing the silver lining is more about avoiding accountability or minimizing the negative impact of an error.
Truth: Silver lining or no, being honest about what hasn’t worked is essential to recovering from errors, avoiding future ones, and demonstrating trustworthiness.
Lie #4: I’ll lose the team’s trust if I admit I was wrong
You might think you’re putting the team first by demonstrating confidence, optimism, and resolve.
Truth: Denying or ignoring mistakes does more to undermine your team’s trust in you than coming clean. Be honest and admit your shortcomings, and you’ll earn their respect.
Moreover, owning your mistakes is a great start for building a broader culture of accountability in which your team feels safe to admit their errors.
Lie #5: The consequences of coming clean will be worse
There’s an old saying in political journalism: the cover-up is always worse than the crime.
Truth: There may be harmful outcomes from admitting your mistake. But the consequences of keeping it hidden are often worse.
Sticking to an others-first mentality is hardest when your pride (or your job, or your reputation) is on the line. That’s when admitting a mistake takes the most courage.
Admitting mistakes helps mitigate consequences, avoid future errors, and build a culture of trust and accountability. If you need an objective thought partner to confront the challenges of your job, talk with me about how coaching can help.