Change Habits through Addition, not Subtraction
January 30, 2025 | By David M. Wagner
I used to have some pretty bad snacking habits. Think candy, cookies, all the delicious junk that’s bad for you.
My health suffered as a result. Even knowing this, I struggled for a long time to stop my sugar consumption.
One reason it was so hard for me to kick the sugar habit was because that’s how I framed my goal: eat less sugar.
It is incredibly hard to change a habit by trying to do less of (or stop doing) something.
This is true whether you’re trying to better yourself, coaching a team member to modify their behaviors, or trying to change your organization’s culture.
Change, however, is possible. And a slight shift in framing can help it happen.
The Consequences of Negative Framing
“Eat less sugar” is an example of negative framing that emphasizes what not to do. Here are other examples:
Don’t forget to thank every donor.
Keep your frustrations from showing.
Work fewer hours.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
While these goals may be in your best interest, their negative framing might:
Pressure you to refrain from a behavior or feeling.
Reinforce guilt or shame around things you have done or felt in the past (or might still feel inclined to do or feel).
Place your focus and energy on a negative – the very thing you’re trying not to do.
As a result, you don’t just have a negative experience trying to avoid a behavior or feeling. You also experience greater guilt or shame when (like the rest of us) you mess up and do the thing anyway.
Switching to Positive Framing
What finally helped me break my unhealthy snacking habit was shifting my goal from “easy less sugar” to “eat healthier snacks.”
I started small. I made sure I always had a pack of gum handy to satisfy my sugar cravings.
When I realized I was sometimes still hungry in the afternoons, I started stocking up on healthier (but still tasty!) snacks, like fruit and nuts.
Positive framing emphasizes a beneficial behavior or mindset to actively pursue – rather than something harmful to avoid.
Here’s a positive spin on the example goals from earlier:
Set aside time to thank every donor.
When you feel frustrated, take a deep breath and count to ten.
Make restorative plans that prioritize your personal time.
Show yourself more compassion.
Use positive framing to regain control by emphasizing things you will do (rather than what you won’t do). When you need to correct a team member’s behavior, suggest positive alternatives to their harmful habits. And change your team’s culture by focusing on new ways of operating and thinking, rather than belaboring what you’re leaving behind.
And if you could use a coach to remind you of the power of positive framing in your work, talk with me about how I can help you you’re your team) create new, better habits.