October 31, 2024 🎃 | By David M. Wagner

When I attended a summit for nonprofit leaders recently, I asked leaders to share their horror stories.

They did not disappoint.

The tales they told ranged from mostly funny to shocking to deeply concerning. (You can read my post with their stories on LinkedIn.)

The bottom line?

Leadership can be scary. Or at least scary difficult.

Wearing multiple hats. Constantly fighting fires. Meeting unreasonable expectations. Struggling to avoid burnout. Dealing with unruly stakeholders.

How do you cope?

Don’t Fly Solo

At times, it can feel like you’re in this mess alone.

You can’t always turn to your staff. You may need to isolate them from the problem so they can do their jobs. (Or they may be the problem.)

Asking your board for help is often a good idea – but not if doing so could call your competence in your role into question. (Or, again, if they’re the problem.)

And yet, I implore you:

Whatever challenge you’re facing, please don’t face it alone.

Having trusted, neutral advisers to turn to is essential for your mental health, for making effective decisions, and for keeping your passion intact.

An objective observer can:

• Validate what’s normal (and what isn’t). That includes validating your emotions. Freaking out over what that board member said? An objective party can let you know if you’re overreacting (unlikely) or right to be concerned (more likely).

• Provide support. Maybe you could use a few words of encouragement. Maybe you just need someone you can vent to, safely, without judgement or problem-solving. A little dose of empathy can go a long way to manage your emotions.

• Offer a sounding board. As you explore your options, it can help to talk them through out loud. Effective advisers offer useful feedback and ask powerful questions to reframe your challenge and unlock new insights.

• Suggest solutions. When you’re really stuck, and you’ve worked through the emotions of a dilemma, and you’re ready to talk solutions, it helps to have a strong thought partner. They can offer a different perspective or suggest options you hadn’t thought of based on their unique experience.

Where to Turn for Help

I hope that you have a team of those trusted advisers you can rely on for the purposes above when things get…spicy.

If you don’t, or if you could use a few more, here are some suggestions.

• Talk to your close friends about the support you need.

• Connect with fellow nonprofit leaders. Look for mentors and mutually-supporting peer relationships. Your predecessor(s) can sometimes be a good place to start!

• Work with a coach. Find someone whose values align with yours and can adapt conversations depending on what you need.

Where do you turn for help when your job gets scary? Don’t go it alone.

And if you could use another trusted adviser, set a free consultation to discuss how to partner with me as a coach.

You got this!