Decision Roadblock #2: Finding the Confidence to Trust Your Instincts
January 19, 2023 | By David M. Wagner
Faced with an important decision, “follow your instincts” is often good advice. After all, your good judgment is part of what makes you a leader!
Sometimes it’s not that simple. We – or the stakeholders whose support we need – might need a bit of persuasion. And so we hesitate to go with our gut.
How do we get past that hesitation? Here’s an approach to diagnose and treat the source of your reluctance.
What’s Your Gut Telling You?
Start by filling in these three blanks:
A. The choice others expect of me is _______________.
B. The choice I really want to make is _______________.
C. The choice I think is the right one is _______________.
Hesitation arises when there is conflict with the choice we know in our gut to be right.
Managing Others’ Expectations
The first type of conflict is between what we think is best and what we think others expect from us. Perhaps you worry about disappointing key stakeholders, or about getting them on board with your approach. Or maybe you just worry that they’re right.
Lay out your alternatives and compare them objectively. Identify three to five options, not just what you think is expected or what you think is right. Determine the factors that make them different from one another – ye olde Pro/Con list is a good place to start, or try a more formal approach for complex choices.
With the information you have gathered, ask – what would an objective observer choose? Maybe you’re now persuaded that your stakeholders were right, or that you’ve found a new, better option. More likely, you now have a compelling case for your preferred path - and a key input to building commitment (rather than consensus) around that plan.
Doing the Hard Thing
The second type of conflict is entirely internal. We would really prefer not to do the “right thing” our gut is telling us to do.
If your hesitance stems from concerns about all the ways that path could go wrong, then work through those fears to mitigate the biggest risks. Trust your gut both about your choice being the right one, and about your concerns being valid.
Lastly, as is often the case in leadership, the “right thing” might just be unpleasant. It might take us out of our comfort zone. We might doubt our abilities. We might worry about the emotional blowback.
If you’ve gone through the earlier steps, you’ve already confirmed that the hard path is the best one. Take heart. Give yourself a little pep talk. Trust that the same instincts that told you this is the right path will also help you navigate it. And go make it happen!
We know how tough it can be to trust your instincts for big, hairy choices. And we’ve helped many clients work through their hesitation. If you need a hand navigating your situation, schedule a call so you can get clear and develop the confidence to follow your gut.