January 9, 2025 | By David M. Wagner

Empathy is an incredible superpower for leaders to employ – it opens the doors to being persuasive, guiding change, and helping others take tough news, among others.

But it’s also dangerous.

Or at least, being genuinely empathetic can feel dangerous – because it requires us to open our minds to different ways of thinking.

Imagine someone whose point of view, actions, or beliefs you disagree with strongly.

Do you really want to understand the world as they see it?

Ick!

And yet, when you place limits on the extent of the empathy you’re willing to show, you may be the one who bears the cost of missed opportunities.

What are the risks of empathizing with people you disagree with, and the costs of limiting empathy?

Empathy Humanizes Opponents

Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes requires admitting a sometimes-uncomfortable fact: they’re human.

It can be easier to demonize opponents than to acknowledge their humanity.

Admitting that they are entitled to their own opinions, feelings, and beliefs means recognizing that you and they actually have some things in common.

The cost of refusing to acknowledge someone else’s humanity is remaining divided. That means never finding common ground or winning others over, as we forfeit the right to argue for our ideas based on their merits.

Empathy Makes Distasteful Ideas Seem Less Unreasonable

It’s easy to disparage an idea that doesn’t conform with your values, experience, and priorities.

It’s much harder to acknowledge that the same idea might be reasonable for someone to hold who has different values, experiences, and priorities.

Recognizing the basis of perspectives you find repulsive can feel like lending credibility to that point of view.

Yet empathy does not require you to agree with someone’s viewpoint, only to understand what’s behind their ideas.

And when you refuse to explore other perspectives, you forgo opportunities to increase your understanding of why others think as they do and to test the practical limits of your own ideas.

Empathy Might Shift Your Perspective

It’s true: learning to understand a new point of view might alter your own.

Few things feel scarier than taking the risk that your precious beliefs may change.

Especially because that might require admitting that you were a teeny tiny bit wrong before, or that they were a teeny tiny bit right.

But there’s a cost to protecting your pride by limiting exposure to empathy that could change your mind. Namely: keeping your ideas static and unchanging, and refusing to grow in ways that may serve you (and your mission).

Empathy is often difficult. And when it involves validating the humanity and reasoning of people with whom you disagree, it can feel downright dangerous.

But without it, you risk undercutting your own ideas and opportunities to win over others and grow.

If you find yourself struggling to overcome divisions that are impacting your mission, set up a free call to discuss how I can help you safely navigate those dangerous waters.