November 30, 2023 | By David M. Wagner

Exactly one time, I raised my voice to a client.

My team was overseeing a major upgrade to a system used by dozens of nations. Our client, the program office delivering the upgrade, had promised that the new system would be backwards compatible, avoiding costly interface changes for their international users.

But there was a problem. A member of my team identified ways the upgrade would force partners to change how they used the new system.

We urged our client to notify the user community. Their response felt akin to fingers-in-ears, “la la I’m not listening.”

Prompting me to voice frustration. Not my finest hour.

Not Enough

We knew notifying users was right. But that wasn’t good enough.

A mentor of mine, Bill, often said it doesn’t matter how right or brilliant your solution is unless you convince the decision makers of that fact.

Our client would decide what to share with the user community. We could only advise (and persuade) them what that message should be.

As nonprofit leaders, we interact with many decision makers: our boards, funders, partners, policymakers, even our team members.

How do we encourage them to join in our way of thinking?

Being Persuasive

When you’re convinced you’ve got the best plan:

• Decide how important it is to be “right.” Some issues are consequential enough to risk losing the relationship over. Otherwise, prioritize the relationship over your complaints. We pressed the issue because we knew being transparent with the system’s users was in our client’s best interest.

• Leave judgment at the door. Sometimes, the right perspective seems so obvious that it’s difficult not to judge others for holding wrong ideas (as we see it). Judgment is hard to hide. When it seeps out (which it will, like my raised voice), our counterparts will stop listening. Show up with compassion.

• Find the roots of resistance. Authentic persuasion requires genuinely exploring another’s perspective while being open to adjusting your own. When we (I) finally started listening, we found our client had legitimate concerns about appearing to renege on their promises. We also uncovered different understandings of system usage that led us to overestimate, and them to underestimate, the operational changes needed.

• Build common ground. Bill often quoted the “Platinum Rule:” do unto others according to their druthers. That means meeting others where they are and working with their value systems, goals, and language to find a position you can both commit to, even if you don’t fully agree. When we and our client came to a shared understanding about the real impact of pending changes, they agreed to alert system users with a message we carefully crafted together.

Being “right” is not enough. Leadership requires convincing others to join us in creating a better future. That’s why our approach to strategic planning prioritizes building stakeholder alignment over crafting the “right” strategy. If you need to get disparate groups on the same page, set a free consultation to discuss how we can help.