3 Tips for Making Asks that Get a “Yes”
September 12, 2024 | By David M. Wagner
When I heard a team member say, “We should include that information in the poster”), I felt my anxiety rise.
That’s because when someone says “we should…” or “someone should…,” what I hear is, “I think it would be great if someone did this – and I’m not volunteering or willing to ask someone else to do it.”
These indirect asks are insidious because (1) others are often quick to agree (“yes, someone should do that!”) and (2) no one takes accountability for taking action.
(In this case, I asked, “who is ‘we?’” And was relieved that the speaker assigned the task to himself!)
Make it Easy to Say “Yes”
As a nonprofit leader, you may find yourself asking for a lot: time from volunteers, assistance from partners, actions from staff and board members, and – of course – money from funders.
It can feel pushy, or even rude, to be direct about what you need from someone else.
You may feel tempted to beat around the bush by pointing out a need or opportunity…and hoping that someone (you made sure was) within earshot generously offers to fill the gap.
I argue that placing the burden on others to interpret your needs correctly is less considerate than asking directly.
To make effective asks – that show you value your relationship with the ask-ee while improving your chances of getting a “yes” – follow these three tips.
1. Show how their help will impact your mission
Explain how their contribution – of time, talent, or treasure – will have a meaningful impact on your mission. Why is this ask important? Why now? And why are you asking them? Demonstrate that you understand what is important to them. (If you don’t know what’s important to them, find out! It may be premature to make an ask.)
2. Give them something to say “yes” to
Make an explicit, actionable ask. For instance:
Would you fill this volunteer role for four hours a month?
Could you make five compelling social media graphics to advertise this campaign?
Could you give $5,000 for our new system?
The clearer your ask, the easier it is for them to say “yes.”
3. Be clear that the relationship is more important than the answer
Show that you value your relationship with them regardless of their answer and appreciate their contributions – past and future. Make room for “no” and other answers and invite a frank discussion about why the answer might be “no” or “not right now.”
Don’t beat around the bush. If you need someone’s help to make your mission a success, ask. You’ll improve your chances of getting a “yes” by being direct and by valuing the relationship over their answer.
I coach nonprofit leaders on people-centric leadership techniques like this one to turn their strategies into action. Set a free consult with me to discuss how I can help get your stakeholders to support your needs.