November 3, 2022 | By David M. Wagner

“Don’t you think we could use this in our work?”

I was excited. I was briefing a team of senior leaders about a unique project and had several ideas I knew would benefit the organization. I was eager to share what I had learned.

But I never got that chance. After I replied (“absolutely!”), the leader who asked the question dominated the discussion and the team moved on to other topics. It was clear the asker wasn’t interested in hearing new ideas. They were only looking for a data point to support their own plans.

This experience came to mind while rereading Jim Collins’ Good to Great. In great organizations, he says, Level 5 leaders create a “climate where the truth is heard.” The first practice leaders use to create that climate? “Lead with questions, not answers.”

I’d like to update that advice to “lead with inquiry, not ideas.”

After all, not all questions are about uncovering the truth. I’ve seen “questions” used to make a point (like in the story above), confirm assumptions, look smart, or even belittle others. Yuck.

Inquiry, on the other hand, is about pursuing understanding.

It reveals information and deepens insight. Genuine inquiry fosters inclusiveness and creativity through idea sharing. Listening inquisitively also builds trust by making the speaker feel valued by the listener.

Inquiry can be really hard when we’re busy or distracted (and aren’t we all?). So, with that in mind, here are some tips for how to lead with inquiry:

1. Set an intention. Look for opportunities to practice inquiry – during performance reviews, after a big team success (or failure), or just when catching up one-on-one. Decide beforehand to use the time to listen without imposing your ideas.

2. Acknowledge and let go of thoughts. The goal of inquiry is to hear the thoughts and emotions of someone else. I find it helpful to jot down interrupting thoughts, so I won’t be distracted by trying to recall them. BBC editor Emily Kasriel* recommends putting words to emotions you experience in reaction to what is being said, rather than leaving it to your nonverbal cues to communicate them for you.

3. Confirm understanding. Repeat back what you heard them say and what their body language told you. (“Your [passion | frustration | excitement | etc.] is really coming through.”)

4. Follow their lead. A colleague shared this tip from his earlier career as a journalist: Good journalism, he told me, isn’t about having great prepared questions. Everyone has a story that they want to tell you. Your job is to help them tell it.

What stories does your team have to tell? And how will you inquire to learn what those stories are?

* Emily gave a great presentation on “deep listening” at SSIR’s Nonprofit Management Institute in September. Her Deep Listening project is chockfull of other advice and great examples!